I’m a Reject – and That’s Cool

You know what’s tougher than Jason Statham, bigger than Kanye West’s ego and stronger than the smell of Axe Body Spray? A writer’s ability to handle rejection. Or at least it should be.

I knew, even before I started submitting, that rejections were going to be the norm. I lurk around on writer twitter, I read the blogs. I know the score. There’s a ton of writers out there and they all want to be published and there’s only so many spots to go around. It’s as simple as that.

Now admittedly I’m somewhat new at submitting and with a little over 30 submissions so far (as of this writing) I’ve had a handful of acceptances but over 3 times as many rejections and I expect to receive many more. But I’m proud of every rejection I receive because it means that after years of not trying, I tried. And the truth is, I’ve gotten some mighty nice rejections, even the form ones. A couple said I was close, most asked me to submit again in the future, some even said they hoped my story finds a home. That kind of form rejection takes the sting out of it.

Now I know editors are professional and these would never happen, but sometimes my imagination tends to run a bit wild. So by comparison, here are the rejections I EXPECTED to receive.

• Dear Author, we have teamed up with words to file a class action lawsuit against you and have also obtained a restraining order.

• Dear Author, we attempted to download your story from the cloud and it started raining.

• Dear Resident, with regards to your creative writing skills, have you considered cost-managerial accounting as a viable career choice?

• MY GOD WOMAN, WHO HURT YOU?

My imagination, as you can probably tell, relies heavily on derisive humor and snark. It’s a design flaw.

Now I remember reading a blog post or two that said you should aim for 100 rejections. I don’t believe in that. First of all, I don’t think submitting should be a numbers game, throwing stuff everywhere to see if it sticks. Secondly, I’m proud of my rejections but I don’t think you should celebrate them. They don’t deserve a party. They should sit at home miserable and alone like the rest of us – I mean, other people. Of course, other people.

Sidenote: I tried to find interesting stock photos of someone alone and sad and all Google image search came up with was silhouetted people against setting suns. How can you be miserable when you’re at the beach and there’s a gorgeous sunset?

Anyways..here’s to us rejects. We tried. And we’ll try again. Because writers are pretty damn tough – at least when we’re safely tucked away behind our keyboards.

And while you’re here, do you have a rant, vent, rejection story, or a bunch of profanities you’d like to share? Tell me below.