What I Did on My Summer Vacation

A couple of years ago, I was in Europe with 52 family members where I did things like navigate the Barcelona subway system, eat Italian food in France (because why not?) and tempted fate by standing in front of the Vatican. I was disappointed that I wasn’t struck by lightning. Apparently, I need to try harder.

Yeah – no trip like that this year.

But stress and the four walls closing in on me made me realize I needed a quick getaway. I was getting uptight and mean. Like “getting mad at people in commercials” sort of mean. And yes, I’m sorry people in Match.com ads, me calling you fake and horrible was way out of line. I sincerely hope you find true love, I really do. You fake bastards.

So with the precious little time off afforded me and everybody busy or away, I did a solo trip to the family cottage, which, while no trip to Italy, was still pretty damn fun.

So here’s what I did on my summer vacation:

• Swam…
• …while wearing 100+ SPF because I rock a deathly pale look.
• Read an entire Vampire Hunter D novel and someday I’ll write a blog post devoted entirely to my love/hate relationship with those books. Suffice it to say though, they are my idea of trashy beach novels.
• Watched the entire 5th season of Archer and before you ask, Malory is my favorite character. Mainly because she’s the glue that holds everything together but also because Jessica Walter is A GODDAMN NATIONAL TREASURE.

• Had an olive burger because they are tasty and delicious.
• Met up with a friend of mine I hadn’t seen in 10 years and don’t you love it when you can do that and pick up right where you left off?
• Petted all of her dogs and as many of her cats as I could.
• Brought my laptop so I could write.
• Produced absolutely nothing of value.
• Did not care.

I know, none of that sounds exciting and sometimes you need that. But you know what was the best super most awesome part of the trip?

Driving alone.

I like driving with other people but there’s something awesome about a tripping it by myself. There’s no need to wait for someone to ask “do you want to stop at the bathroom” because with me the answer is always YES. So on my own I can drink as much ice coffee as I want and make the 15 stops necessary afterwards. Take that bladder!

But the BEST part is my music.

I put my little MP3 on shuffle and scream my little heart out. And it’s not easy. After all, I am the solo vocalist AND the back-up singer. I have to provide detailed seated choreography and, at red lights, air guitar solos. I AM THE BAND. And if you’re a glutton for punishment, here is a small sampling of songs on shuffle during my 4 hour long trip.

And if you’re REALLY a glutton for punishment you can strain your ears to hear my caterwauling in the background. Also yes, you heard both Dio AND The Andrews Sisters in that video. My relationship with music is “It’s complicated…”

So while I didn’t do anything outrageous, brave, exciting or (let’s face it) interesting, I did manage to recharge my batteries a bit. And I’m not yelling at commercials anymore. Well…mostly. A hat doesn’t make you quirky, COURTNEY!