The Most Interesting Spam in the World
When I started a WordPress site, I expected spam. It’s like the meat product it’s named after – nobody really likes it but it never goes away.
And RIP Terry Jones. The world is a lot sadder without you in it. 🙁
So yes, I put up a spam blocker but the thing is, it saves the spam so you can see if the comment was actually real. So far, they are not. I get a ton of them written in broken English which say things like: “Your subject is indeed enlightening and your endeavors are good. I will return for quality.”
Sure.
I made the mistake of neglecting my blog for a couple of months and therefore ended up with 62 spam comments to sift through, most telling me how “quality” I am. Not that I minded being told I’m wonderful. I just wish they also weren’t trying to sell me on “Russian Prostitutes” or “Call Girls in Delhi”. And who is in charge of their marketing department? I mean, not only did they get the target demographic wrong, but the geography as well.
I deleted most of them until I got to one that was so long that it qualified as a CVS receipt and therefore caught my attention. Once I started reading it, I couldn’t stop. So without posting the whole damn thing, I shall indeed endeavor to enlighten you with quality content. Introducing – The Most Interesting Spam in the World.
That would make one HELL of a Black Mirror episode.
The post continues and says that the politician Carl Sanders met with the CIA and Henry Kissinger to create a microchip to implant within the human body that would “bring forth the one-world system”. Actually I read that originally as Carl Sagan, which would have been the most awesome thing ever.
But enough about interesting microchip world take-overs because we’re going into Satan territory now.
Goddamn math.
There are 3 Chipotles in that zip code. It really is the Devil’s Playground. Unclean! UNCLEAN!
Jesus didn’t die for our sins, his Dad CRUSHED HIM. Don’t eff with God, man, he’ll crush a bitch.
It continues…
And that’s just me reading this spam.
There’s a ton of scripture readings after this which are boring after you’ve read about microchipping government conspiracies and zip-code Satanism, but then it blessedly ends.
You are proof positive, that he does not.
I might have exaggerated. Maybe this isn’t the most interesting spam in the world but it was, at least, mildly entertaining so…not today CHICAGO SATAN!
